Guest blog post, featured on Momnificent.com
http://themomcoach.typepad.com/the_mom_coach/2009/11/look-honey-we-made-people.html
Posts Tagged life
Look Honey, We Made People
Nov 13
Mrs. November?
Nov 2
Writing as a business could easily make me the poster child for ADD. Perhaps I could be chosen as Mrs. November?
I’m settling into a current pattern of writing one chapter per week for my book, submitting 5 items per week to other outlets, and working on what could be called a writing resume. Each new published article is known as a byline, and each new byline announces to the world that I am a writer.
With each submission comes the waiting – either for rejection or acceptance – both of which send a strong message on my progress. Many times there is no response at all. If I do receive an acceptance, it is for a piece submitted months ago so I must remind myself which one it was.
I once had a vision of secretly writing a book and surprising the publishing world with it, blasting through any established protocol for such endeavors.
But, it doesn’t work that way. In order to be respected as a writer, I must write. Daily. Weekly. Hourly. Monthly. 8-plus hours per day, as if clocking in for any other type of job.
It has been estimated that a writer must spend 10,000 hours improving their craft before they are ready. Considering that I started when I was 11, perhaps I am getting close.
So, I should get back to writing, but it’s almost time to check the mail, and I can’t help but wonder what treasures may be delivered today….
Tommy and I have been attending a thirteen week course on Financial Peace, taught by Dave Ramsey. The video presentations are interesting, and offer the inspiration needed to pursue habits that should come naturally through common sense. However, if that were the case, it would not be necessary to take this class.
Don’t spend money that you don’t have. Control the future your money so that it does not control you. The borrower is servant to the lender.
Such simple sentences, yet so hard to convert into daily habits.
What sticks with me week after week are the stories that Dave shares of the common characteristics from some of his millionaire friends. They pay cash, plan what to buy in advance, and aren’t willing to live with buyer’s remorse. They don’t fall into the traps of credit, excessive debt, and endless mortgages. If money is received, it is invested wisely and not blown over a weekend.
Great amounts of money did not just happen to these people. They managed well when they had little, and were soon rewarded with more.
It boils down to one simple sentence. If you want to be rich, act like a rich person…
I have heard the same regarding the battle of weight loss. It is no secret how it is done. Eat less. Eat foods that are good for us. Exercise more and take care of the body entrusted to us. It is the only one we will ever own.
Again, it is simplified to one sentence. If you want to be skinny, take on the actions of a skinny person…
Perhaps this works in all areas of our lives.
If you want to grow closer to God, follow the examples of those who are already there. Study more so you will know how he works; spend time alone with him; trust him with the little things so that you can recognize his power with the big things.
Want a better marriage? Ask couples who have been married for over 50 years and they will tell you to treat each action as an investment into the future. You reap what you sow.
So now, I want to be a writer. I guess that means I should act like one.
With that desire comes the responsibility to sit for hours alone in my chair. I have no idea how long it will take before success can be measured in a way that the rest of the world can understand. But for now, one word at a time, I am investing in my future. Not just my own, but hopefully yours as well.
Music plays in the background as I chart a path to bring you, my future readers, to this secret place I have discovered.
Once the journey is complete, you will love it here. I promise.
True Writing…
Oct 20
To write is to speak using only the voice that lies deep within your soul. It exposes your deepest thoughts to all the world, and once the words are released, there is no way to take them back. It takes a brave person to lay it all on the altar in this way, knowing that not everyone will appreciate or understand your unprotected words.
True writing, then, encompasses the next step of releasing your words to the world. Most of us have spent years with our own thoughts, spilling them onto the nearest blank sheet of paper, but it can’t stop there. In order for our words to touch the lives of others, we must learn to lay them on the altar, and trust that God will put them in the hands, and eventually the hearts, of those that need them most.
August 25, 1984.
Twenty-five years? How is this even possible?
Still, somehow, here we are today.
Looking back over our wedding pictures, just after being introduced as husband and wife, as we tiptoed down the aisle into a world we were in no way prepared for, I have to stop and wonder what we would have done if we had known then what our future would hold. We were as clueless as we appeared to be, but maybe that is the only way it could have worked.
We soon found that life has a way of taking you to places that you never thought you would go. Difficult places. Rocky places. Places that leave scars. Places where your only goal can be to get through it. Places that don’t leave room to worry about what everyone else is thinking. Places that run like a roaring river and you are tossed in, leaving you to crash against the rocks and hold on until you can find each other on the other side.
Yes, life has a way of taking you through places where the odds are stacked against you, but these are the kind of places that lead you to your knees, and then later, back to each other.
But the opposite is also true.
Just when you least expect it, life has a way of bringing you through places that are much more wonderful than anything you could have ever dreamed.
It really is a perfect balance between the two extremes. Along the way, the path is filled with good days and bad days; gut wrenchingly painful days and deliriously happy days; proud moments and moments filled with shame; questioning your existence moments and defining your purpose moments; keeping your head above water moments and flying like an eagle moments.
It’s impossible to put into words all that we’ve shared, but that won’t stop me from trying – job changes; hard work; promotions; budget cuts; stranded vehicles; buying our first house; broken refrigerators, and really anything else electronic that you can think of; new roofs that no one noticed; the birth of our three miraculous, yet unexpected, children; bad financial decisions; stolen purses; the heartbreaking divorce of a few close “couple” friends; seasons of change – always before we were ready; yard sales that forced us to come face to face with a lifetime of accumulated junk and wondered if this was all we had to show for our years of hard work; baby steps that led to driving teenagers way before we could afford them; vacations we couldn’t afford; rarely used kitchens and eating out way too much; not enough time around the table; being the proudest, and sometimes loudest, spectators at our kids basketball or soccer games/dance recitals/cheerleading competitions/Disney parades; job transfers to states that are too far away; the loss of all four of our grandmothers (who can be seen standing together in one of our wedding pictures); graduations and the wide open choices that follow; way too many car wrecks, followed by way too many insurance adjustments; first pet – Pickles the Pug; the death of Pickles the Pug; do-it-yourself home improvements that always seemed to make it worse; birthday parties; slumber parties; airsoft gun parties; illegal fireworks; bicycles with flat tires; dangerous neighborhoods; church cookouts; crazy VBS skits; mission trips; sunrises and sunsets; autumn leaves falling over kids on shaky bikes; the baptism of all three kids at Fall Creek Falls, performed by their Daddy; tear-jerking phone calls from our kids; watching them make choices and then live with the consequences; too many surgeries; eleven days in ICU; malignant tumor; waiting for test results; and finally, learning to live each day to the fullest anyway, in spite of it all.
For us, the past twenty-five years have been just that – day to day living and finding a way to come out on top, but somehow still together. I guess the only real secret to finding true happiness is to know that it’s a daily choice that we make, and can only come when we realize that God lies in both the good and the bad.
It’s not about arriving at a destination, but rather in recognizing that if you missed the journey, you missed it all.
So bring on the next twenty-five years – slowly, one day at a time, filled with these people and as many God-designed moments as possible.
If 25 years is the silver anniversary, then ‘happily ever after’ must be discovered in the silver lining…
Gatlinburg-ers Vacation 2009
Aug 22
Such a strange family we are.
This was a short and quick vacation for us – a chance to spend a few days with Crystal and Andrew, who were last seen moving home to TN while we were in the process of moving to Michigan. It was designed to be relaxed, cheap, and filled with huge blocks of time meant for doing nothing more than hanging out at the pool or sitting out on the patio. Our neice, Leah, was able to go with us, which is just as it should be, and as it has been for most of her life.
I won’t bore you wth the details, and I’m sure Malloree will post the pictures she deems “good enough for Facebook,” but in reality, the story is told most in our silly conversations along the way.
So, to further confirm that we make no sense to anyone other than ourselves, (and even that gives me reason to lie awake at night and ask God what He was thinking at times), here are a few things overheard on the Grimes Family Vacation 2009 Edition:
1) Fear is in the nose of the be-smeller.
2) You have to sign this waiver saying you won’t complain when you die of boredom.
3) Help! I’m in the back.
4) I think they made this a lighted foot path so that the bears could find us easily.
5) I need to take a shower so I can get ready to go to the pool.
6) I’ll bet this is what that sign meant when it said “Road Closed.”
7) Remember that Alfred Hitchcock movie called “Rear Window?” Well, I think I see a leg on that patio without a person attached. I suspect foul play.
That sign says you can make a friend disappear. Hey Crystal, come here. (spoken by Andrew)
9) I’ve got to wash Andrew’s hair off my teeth.
10) Now that I’ve lost my whole toenail, if I put it under my pillow, do you think the Toenail Fairy will come?
11) Please stop driving down the stairs.
12) Andrew lost his tubing.
13) When I don’t have my contacts in, and I see you sleeping but can’t tell which one of you it is, it’s OK because I know that you are cute no matter which one you turn out to be.
14) Dad, I think that guy is trying to impress you.
15) I put it in my phone and scanned Crystal, and she tested positive.
16) Life seems bearable from the jacuzzi.
17) Life is pretty funny, unless you are the one living it.
Ahhh yes, Grimes Family Memories. And the truth is that I wouldn’t have it any other way…
Have you ever noticed that warning lights on the dashboard of your car are somewhat ineffective?
Perhaps we are to blame for this. It seems that we either choose to ignore them, (i.e. running out of gas when your gas symbol has been shining brightly for miles) or by the time they are illuminated, it is already too late.
For this reason, my oldest daughter, Crystal, refers to them as “Already Broken” lights, a term we have grown to hate since it usually costs us greatly.
Such is the recent case of my right rear blinker light, which burned out during a terrible storm, while I was driving down a very busy, and extremely dark road. The power was out in the area because of the storm, so I didn’t need the happy ‘lightbulb’ signal on my dashboard to let me know I was in trouble. The blasting of horns and sound of screeching tires served that purpose well, proclaiming my problem to my fellow, somewhat angry travelers.
And this proves my point. If anything should give you a warning light before it goes out, shouldn’t it be a lightbulb?
In most cases, though, by the time your warning light reveals itself, it is usually a culmination of the many ways we may have been ignoring the obvious. Oil in thecar? Antifreeze? Squealing brakes? Now that I think of it, squealing anything is usually a cry for help. But, I guess if we turn our radios up and sing loud enough maybe we won’t ever notice, right?
Wrong. Eventually, everyone will notice, usually when we are stranded on the side of the road, where no one can overlook us.
The same is true with life. What if our relationships, our jobs, our families, and our lives came with warning lights? Would we disregard them at first, causing our small problems to explode into something much bigger? Aren’t we always trying to be the last one across the railroad tracks, in spite of the warnings, before the train slams through?
I heard a story once about the sinking of the Titanic, and the number of warnings that went unnoticed. Days earlier, a warning went out about glaciers in the area. The ship’s Captain altered his course because of this, but other ships were transmitting warnings to the Titanic; warnings that were ignored. Again later that night, other ships were signaling that huge glaciers lay directly in the path of the Titanic.
At that time, the wireless operators were employed to interpret incoming signals and deliver them to passengers. So, these messages were deemed unimportant, and never made it to the Captain. Early that next morning, as the Titanic was sinking and those same wireless operators were desperately sending signals to other ships in the area for help, the messages didn’t get through because their relay equipment had been turned off for the night.
The Titanic sank in two and a half hours, but their problems didn’t start with the impact with the glacier. It started when the warning signals were ignored.
I keep thinking about this when I reflect on the loss of both Michael Jackson and Steve McNair. Both of their deaths could have been prevented, if they had only paid attention to the warnings. The same is true for those who loved and surrounded them. I’m sure now they all wish they had done something to change the path of those two legends.
Sadly, they are now more legendary than ever before, just like the Titanic. They too were on a path that led to trouble. They were sinking and no one did anything to help.
Our society tells us to “mind our own business.” But doing nothing never helped anyone.
I think it would serve us well to recognize our own inability to pay attention to the warning signals in our lives. We would do much better not to leave room for error, to make time to do the right thing, and to care enough about the people in our lives to help them do the same. We should depend on each other, and not the warning lights.
We all need some accountability, and I would rather be hated for trying to do too much, than to later live with regrets. So consider yourself warned – if you matter to me in anyway, and I see you headed down a road that goes nowhere, I plan to stand in your way. We have to love each other enough to at least try to make a difference, right?
You see, the problem with warning lights is twofold. We can’t trust them, nor can we trust ourselves to notice them.
Besides, by the time the warning lights come on, it may already be too late.
42% Complete. . .
May 23
Birthdays. They become our way of measuring life, or so it seems. The world tells me that I’m middle aged, and that I should be feeling older with each step I take.
Whatever. Though the mirror tells me a few things have changed, I refuse to let the mirror have the last word. I will just look at it less often, so it won’t have all the power in our relationship.
Same thing with the bathroom scale. Don’t ask. Don’t tell.
The truth is that on the inside, I still feel like the same girl I used to be when I would sit on the hood of my Mom’s car and watch the moon at night. The moon always knew what to do with itself, and I wanted to be just like it when I grew up. I wanted the world to notice what I did. But, even if they didn’t, I would still show up and do my job every night.
As a young girl, I couldn’t wait to find my calling and spend the rest of my life doing whatever it was God had planned just for me.
But here I sit, just past my 42nd birthday, still wondering those same things. I now realize that life is more about recreating yourself as needed and taking leaps of faith along the way. It’s about the journey; not the destination.
The way I figure it, I’m just getting started. My kids have grown up before my very eyes, and have become amazing adults. The world is a better place because they are in it. I love my husband and can’t wait to see what the future holds for all of us. After some major changes in our lives, it seems that all doors are wide open. And that is a great feeling.
So, I prefer to look at it like this. I’m not a ‘has been,’ but rather a ‘gonna be.’
So look out world! I’m 42% complete and have a long way to go.
Guess I’d better get started.
The Storm . . .
May 15
Another one from the archives, rediscovered during our move. I’m so glad I found it – like a long lost friend. . .
It is a beautiful, cool, autumn day. The sun is shining. The sky is blue, and the breeze is blowing gently.
But I find myself in the midst of a terrible storm.
There is thunder and lightning all around me. The rain is falling in turrents. Ferocious winds have blown through the doors and windows of my house and are now tossing me about. I used to feel so safe here, but now it seems that this is where the storm is strongest. The very foundation of my house is being tested for its strength.
The rain has soaked through my clothes and continues beating hard against my back. I hold my head down because it is too painful for me to look up. The water hurts my eyes and I am unable to see clearly.
The storm has altered everything in my life. Everything that once had a place no longer fits there. Everything that has happened to me before is now insignificant, because this is a new storm and it is stronger than any of the others.
It is totally out of my control. Just when I think the winds are finally subsiding, I get knocked down once again by the fierce crosswinds. I feel so helpless. I silently wonder if I will survive.
There was no warning for this storm. Even if there had been some sort of signal, there would have been no way to prepare for the magnitude of it. There was no emergency newsflash. No one told me I should evacuate. No one can even tell me now what to do in order to survive. And I’m not even sure how long this will last. Will it ever blow over? And if it does, will there be anything left?
The only thing I know for sure is that my life after this storm will never be the same. I will be changed forever, and so will my surroundings.
When I turn on the radio to see how others are dealing with it, I realize that this storm is not affecting their lives. For some reason, this one has only hit my family, my house, and my life.
I have fought to survive for as long as I possibly can. There is no shelter; no safe place for me to go. I am exhausted from the fight. My eyes are weary. I realize that the only thing I can do is to give in to the power of this storm. It is so much stronger than me, and it has lasted so long that I don’t think it will ever end.
Just when the storm has reached it’s strongest point, I am at my weakest. I have nothing left within me to get through. I can go no further. I am ready to admit defeat.
I gently lay on the foor and drop my head. With what little strength I have left, I faintly mumble these three words.
“Hold me, Jesus.”
From deep inside of me, I recall His words. “Never will I leave or forsake you. ”
I look up to see his shadow walking towards me. The thunder and lightning are still crashing about us. He kneels beside me and reaches for my hand.
Through my tears, and squinting against the rain, I tell him I don’t know what to do.
He answers, “Don’t do anything. Let me do it.”
He tells me that he had been with me all along, but was waiting for me to admit that I couldn’t face it alone.
I tell him how scared I am.
He sighs. “I know. I’ve been afraid for my life before too.”
I had planned on asking him why this was happening to me, but suddenly, it didn’t seem to matter anymore. All that was important was that I was no longer alone.
He pulls me closer to him and turns my face toward his. Gazing into my eyes, and waiting for my soul to answer his gaze, he says the two most powerful words I have ever heard.
“Trust me.”
I lean my head against his shoulder, and let the tears roll down my face. Tears of relief. Tears of exhaustion. Tears of letting go. Tears of fear. Tears of anger. Tears of surrender. And finally, tears of faith. One at a time, I released all of them. I feel a calm inside of me that I had never noticed before.
The winds are still blowing fiercely, and the rain is falling stronger than ever. The walls are beginning to crumble around me. My house is in ruins.
I still don’t know what to do, nor when it will end. I still wonder what the future holds.
But I rest, and know that with Jesus holding my hand, we will overcome this storm, and any others that may be waiting for me down the road.
Its true. I will never be the same. Maybe, because of the storm, I will be stronger.
I squeeze his hand tightly. “I love you,” I whisper.
“I know,” he answers.
“What would I ever do without you?”
By now, his eyes were twinkling. “That is something you will never have to find out.”
I smile, take a deep breath, and wait out the rest of the storm.
Janet Morris Grimes
September 11, 1992
What About Me?
Apr 18
A friend asked me one time how I was doing. I responded, like I always do, by telling them how everyone in my family was and what all was going on in their lives.
My friend listened politely, then sat there for a minute, and intruded on my little world by saying this:
“I didn’t ask how everyone else was doing – I asked how you were doing.”
And I had no idea how to answer that.
For some reason, I am the type of person who thinks of myself only as a last resort. As a general rule, if everyone else is happy, I’m happy. No wonder I get in over my head sometimes.
It takes me awhile to realize I’m being taken advantage of, or that there may be other options. For example, I follow a very slow car way too long before deciding I can go around them in the fast lane. I guess I’m afraid of hurting that car’s feelings or something.
I’m the same person who planned a little surgery over Christmas Break a few years back because that was the only time I thought it wouldn’t inconvenience anyone. As it turned out, that little tumor was malignant, and I ended up casting quite the damper on our Christmas.
Yep – I definitely have a problem. (but have been cancer free now for six years, so thankfully, that is no longer one of them)
But, I’d better figure out how to be OK, regardless of how the people in my life are doing. There’s got to be more to me than just making sure I’ve met everyone’s needs for the day, right?
I’ve got to dig deeper and give myself permission to at least figure out what I’m all about when it’s just me, and what I want out of this crazy life. If I don’t, I’m going to end up all wrinkled, lonely and sitting on my front porch wondering what my purpose is since there is no one to take care of.
So, how am I doing?
I’m not sure quite yet, because this is a new process for me. But, even though I’m exhausted and have way too much to do tomorrow, and there is laundry to put away,etc. I find myself at the computer at 11:00 at night writing.
Because that is what I love to do. Maybe this is a step in the right direction.
