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What Matters Most?

 For all of my adult life, I have been known as being a hard worker.  It’s both a blessing and a curse, I guess.

I inherited this trait from my Mom, who has worked two jobs for as long as I can remember in order to make ends meet.  Daily, she demonstrated to both of us girls what it meant to be diligent and not complain – just do what it takes to get the job done.

It is definitely something to be proud of.  But, when all is said and done, who wants to be remembered for “making ends meet?”  I can hear it now, “remember that girl who used to work so hard.  What was her name again?”

Surely there must be more in store.  

By working shift work when my kids were little, and later working where they attended school, my internal “Mom-guilt” was lessened by the fact that I did find a way to see my kids and I have been involved in their lives.  (Turns out, that may have been both a blessing and a curse as well, but I can save that for another post.)    

I often tell people that when you are trying to be a wife, mother and employee, the end result is usually feeling like a failure at all of them.  Finding a balance so that all of the roles we fill can co-exist peacefully must surely be the key to success, right?

But, the truth is that I fail at some level or another on a daily basis. 

At work, my desk could be neater and it would be nice for me to beat the next deadline.  

At home, I can’t remember the last time I cooked a meal and we all sat around the table together.  I honestly never meant for that to happen.   

As a wife, at this moment, my husband and I are both online at the same time.  I hope that counts as investing in our relationship.  (I’d better send him a quick tickle on Facebook so he knows I’m thinking about him.)

I may never find the balance I so desire, so in the meantime, I have opted for moments of brilliance – moments of being there when it mattered most.   I try to stay focused on all the little things that will matter 50 years from now.  

I think I am quickly being enveloped by such a moment.  My son, Andrew,  has a couple of friends here both watching and playing a football game in our den.  Sounds like they are having fun, and I hope nothing gets broken if one of them scores a touchdown.  

My daughter, Crystal, is in her room listening to music.  We’ve got a big day planned tomorrow, so she needs my opinion on what to wear.

My husband, Tommy, is downstairs working on his own blog and wants to show me a video he downloaded. 

My daughter, Malloree, is snuggled up in our bed watching TV, and wants me to come join her. 

Our dog, Bodacious, is asleep at my feet, resting from another full day of frolicking around in his doggie-life.

For today, all is right with the world. 

And I’ve never felt so brilliant. . .

One Comment

  1. Rosie
    Rosie January 9, 2008

    Funny. I think as a mother we all feel we fail at moments…..not just as a mother, but in every corner of our lives. Maybe it is a mothers guilt? I tell myself when I feel that way….WILL THIS MATTER in 5 YEARS from now? If I answer yes then I know it is important….if no then I let it go.
    Each night before you go to bed ask your self: 1. I am thankful for ________ today.
    2. Today I accomplished_________________. Then let go of the rest.

    Great Blog. Keep it up.

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